Know the Signs of Catfishing When Looking for Love Online

Older adults are often targeted: Americans age 60 and over lost more than $356 million to confidence/romance scams in 2023, according to data from the Federal Bureau of Investigation's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3).

The good news is that, at least sometimes, the catfishers get caught, including a Nigerian man who in February was ordered by a federal court in Omaha, Nebraska to pay more than $342,000 to victims of catfishing schemes where he and his wife posed as high-ranking military officers serving overseas.

Romance scammers like to target people when they are emotionally vulnerable, such as those who’ve just lost a spouse (sometimes they’ll look for grieving widows or widowers in support groups or on social media). People with a history of family violence or emotional abuse are more likely to become scam victims, as are people with low self-esteem, according to research from Kelly Campbell, a psychology professor at California State University, San Bernadino. And 24 percent of those responding to the Norton survey said that loneliness led them to make risky decisions when dating online.

How to stay safe online

Don’t overshare. Likins regrets revealing that she was a widow on Facebook. “Scam bait,” she would later call it. Catfishers want information on your life, your likes, your dislikes — anything to help manipulate you. If you posted that you recently had a heart attack or traveled to Tahiti, a catfisher might share similar experiences to bond with you. “They really do tailor themselves to you, to what you’re looking for, to your preferences,” says Campbell.

Watch for fast movers. If things move fast, consider it a warning sign. Are they claiming to be madly in love with you after a week of text ing? Being showered with excessive affection and attention is known as love bombing, and it’s another manipulative weapon used by catfishers.

Be realistic. How likely is it that Keith Urban, 57, is reaching out to you because he wants to be your special friend? Do an online search for “Keith Urban” (or the name of the star in question) and “romance scam” and you probably will be dissuaded from responding. Urban is among the many celebrities who have warned their fans about such scams on social media.

Avoid people who won’t meet in person. Catfishers will provide many excuses for not meeting face to face. They might claim to work overseas, as Donald did, or to be coping with tragedy.

Review profiles and images. If you start a relationship and become suspicious, conduct a reverse image search, which can help you spot fake photos. When reviewing profiles and bios, “scrutinize elements like age, occupation, education, and photographs,” suggests Social Catfish, a company that help clients verify identities and expose catfishers. “Discrepancies in these areas, such as a claimed profession not matching an online footprint, can indicate a catfishing attempt.”

Study social media accounts. A small social media presence and digital footprint are potential signs of a faker, although scammers know that, too. “Some people who catfish go to extreme lengths to create fake identities, having multiple social media accounts with the purpose of building up and validating their catfishing profiles,” notes The Cybersmile Foundation, a nonprofit devoted to digital well-being.

Ask direct questions. Confront romantic prospects about why they won’t meet in person or why their backgrounds seem fishy. If they get defensive, that’s a red flag. And if someone asks for money? Say no way. Campbell’s advice: “Don’t send money. Ever.”

Report your experience. If you’ve been the victim of a catfisher or if someone is using your identity, report it to the appropriate dating app or social media platform. Facebook and X, for example, have pages for reporting fraudulent accounts. File a report with law enforcement locally or report it to the FBI at IC3. You can also contact AARP’s free Fraud Watch Network Helpline (877-908-3360) for information about scams and victim support.